'Telling family members I scammed them': College student refuses to transfer back from Art History to Business major, after discovering her parents paid off her student loans on the "condition" she study business, turning a “gift” into emotional leverage

Now that's blind-siding if I've ever seen it…

And even though this story is set in college, it isn't some tissue-grabbing, Sandra Bullock happy-ending…In fact, this story focuses on the downside of parental gaslighting, rather than the positive cases of parenting!

Having helicopter parents who are obsessed with their kids 'future' can be tough. Despite them often wanting the best for their kids, these types of controlling tendencies can be unhealthy to any parent-child relationship, especially as they get older. It's important for young adults to be able to spread their wings, without having to constantly look back at the nest, to validate that their parents are behind them, clapping at every soar and turn they make.

Yes, you want your parents to support you…And when they are the ones who are technically supporting you financially, it can become difficult to have a say in the boundaries that come with their influence in your decision-making! 

College degrees, boyfriends, jobs…it may all feel like our decision at the time, but is it ever really solely ours? 

Author image for Emma Saven Emma Saven
Add us on Google
Advertisement
  • Students listening to a college lecturer whilst sitting in a lecture hall
    via gettysignature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Refused to switch college majors back after my parents "surprised" me by paying off my loans

    I'm 21F, junior in college. I started as a business major because that's what my parents wanted.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • They said if I majored in business they'd help with tuition. I hated every second of it but went along for two years to make them happy.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • Last semester I finally switched to art history which is what I actually love. My grades went up, I was happy, everything was better.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • My parents were mad but I'm taking loans now so I told them its my choice.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • Last week my dad calls and says they have a surprise. They paid off my $12,000 in student loans as an "early graduation gift." I was shocked and so grateful.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • Then my dad says "now that we've paid your loans, we expect you to switch back to business." I said what?
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • A cash student loan wrapped in a graduation hat ribbon
    via gettysignature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He explained that the loan payoff was "conditional" on me going back to business major. They never mentioned this condition before paying them.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • I told them I'm staying in art history and they can't force me to change majors.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • My mom started crying saying I "used them for money" and that I'm ungrateful. My dad said if I don't switch back I have to pay them back the $12,000 immediately.
    via Whole-Lychee6605

  • Here are 5 signs you might be a helicopter parent:

    1.) You solve problems your child should take care of themselves
    You frequently get involved in conflicts with teachers, coaches, employers, or friends instead of letting your kid learn through their own solutions.

    2). You closely keep eyes on every aspect of their life
    You find yourself tracking their grades, calendars, friendships, and decisions in major detail, even when they’re old enough to do it alone.

    3.) You struggle to let them fail or step out of their comfort zones
    The idea of your child being “imperfect” causes you stress, so you insert yourself in the middle to prevent disappointment or setbacks.

    4.) You make major life decisions for them (sound familiar)
    You pressure or decide their academic and career paths, or personal goals, based on what you believe is best, regardless of their wants and wishes. 

    5.) Your involvement doesn't end after childhood 
    You interfere with professors, negotiate jobs, manage finances, or control "big" life decisions for adults who should be gaining independence.

     

  • I don't have that money obviously. My older brother says I should just switch back since they paid the loans, but I'll be miserable in business.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • My roommate says what they did is manipulative and I shouldn't give in. Now my parents are threatening to cut me off completely and telling family members I "scammed" them.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • But they never said the money was conditional before they paid it? Am I the jerk for refusing to switch majors after they paid my loans?
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • TL;DR: Switched from business to art history, parents surprised me by paying $12k loans, then revealed it was conditional on switching back, I refused, they want the money back immediately.
    via Whole-Lychee6605
  • Adelucas The manipulation and gaslighting is strong in this family. I don't know that art history is a useful major, business is far more useful and you might regret it later, but that's your choice. I'd probably have majored in business and minored in art history, just because there is a very limited job pool once you graduate and employers don't want just a degree, they want a specific degree. But your parents don't get to do something nice then change the rules afterwards.
    via Adelucas
  • Frustrated senior couple sitting with their arms crossed on the couch.
    via sydaproductions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • duncanteabag NTA gifts ARE NOT conditional, ever! What they did is manipulative and controlling. I would suggest you write them and everyone in your family, expressing your gratitude for their gift which will enable you to follow your own path and how much it means to you to not have loans. I'd add that if they really want the money back they can ask the college or loan company for a refund and let them see how that works out.
    via duncanteabag
  • ZestycloseAd5918 Tbf art history is a useless degree. The way they went about this is manipulative, but they are right about a business degree being more useful.
    via ZestycloseAd5918
  • infomanus your future will be better with business
    via infomanus
  • millioneura Double major. What are your plans with this degree anyway? Everyone from my state school dorm freshman year that studied art or dance works at target and tj maxx now.
    via millioneura
  • No-Operation929 NTA that's textbook manipulation right there. They can't just spring conditions on you AFTER paying the loans and call it a "gift" - that's not how gifts work lol The fact that they're now telling family you "scammed" them when they literally never mentioned any strings attached is wild. Stick to your guns, art history is your life not theirs
    via No-Operation929
  • NTJ Sad_Caterpillar_7826
    via Whole-Lychee6605

Stay up to date by following us on Facebook!

Tags

degree majoring student loans art history pay off business college
Scroll Down For The Next Article

Also From FAIL Blog

Management cuts holiday overtime incentives, then panics when employees stop volunteering to work holidays, leaving the company short-staffed and facing major $80,000 penalty: 'They're finding out that employee goodwill isn't free'

Management cuts holiday overtime incentives, then panics when employees stop volunteering to work holidays, leaving the company short-staffed and facing major $80,000 penalty: 'They're finding out that employee goodwill isn't free'

Trending Now

Neighbor demands closer parking spot because she has 3 kids under 5 years old, resident refuses and reports ongoing disputes: 'You don't NEED close spot like do'

Neighbor demands closer parking spot because she has 3 kids under 5 years old, resident refuses and reports ongoing disputes: 'You don't NEED close spot like do'

01
Boss mandates overtime to warehouse staff after most workers call in sick, then refuses to let new hire take days off when they catch it too: ‘I'm stuck here for 12-hour days now’

Boss mandates overtime to warehouse staff after most workers call in sick, then refuses to let new hire take days off when they catch it too: ‘I'm stuck here for 12-hour days now’

02
Marketing agency fires employee for AI usage after they signed a contract that forbade them from using it for work tasks: ‘His work from the past two weeks, also AI‘

Marketing agency fires employee for AI usage after they signed a contract that forbade them from using it for work tasks: ‘His work from the past two weeks, also AI‘

03
Employee backs out of their promise to cover coworker's shift after she also demands they take over all of her extra tasks of the day, gets called out: ‘Coworkers should help each other’

Employee backs out of their promise to cover coworker's shift after she also demands they take over all of her extra tasks of the day, gets called out: ‘Coworkers should help each other’

04
Employee informs manager he has to miss work due to medical emergency, HR reframes this as a resignation: 'I never resigned!'

Employee informs manager he has to miss work due to medical emergency, HR reframes this as a resignation: 'I never resigned!'

05
IT project manager sabotages business after boss refuses to pay for car repairs they caused: 'They won't provide me with a car!'

IT project manager sabotages business after boss refuses to pay for car repairs they caused: 'They won't provide me with a car!'

06
Advertisement